You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘mood’ tag.

I spent some time outside in the 74 degree weather Thursday (that’s roughly 23 celcius). It’s amazing. The birds are out calling to each other, some chickadees are inspecting our bird house, we’re cleaning up the garden after the big snowstorms.

It’s amazing how much the weather affects my mood. It’s just so wonderful to be outside.

I got my hands in the dirt today, as I worked a bit to clear some space for a new vegetable garden. Mostly I was putting old leaves in brown paper bags, and then spreading a bit of compost. I’m trying to work within my body’s limits, but also stretch those boundaries a little bit. I have a feeling my arms may be feeling it tomorrow, even though I did some stretching. It’s a constant quest for balance.

It’s so nice to have something to focus on. It helps my mood – it gives me a purpose and something to work towards. Knowing that there may be a tasty payoff is an extra incentive. Planning the garden is fun, too (although it can be a little overwhelming). What I’m really looking forward to is when I can go, “Hmm, what shall we have for dinner?” and then saunter outside to grab some tomatoes and basil and maybe even some garlic and whip up a quick pasta dish. Mmm…

I suppose you could say that the garden has the potential to be a giant coping mechanism. I know it is for a lot of people. It lets me use my body, I get connected to the earth (both through cultivating it and through getting it all over my hands), it may reduce the number of trips I have to make to the grocery store, I get healthier food…not to mention being good for the environment. All in all, a win-win situation.

I have been feeling pretty down lately. I suppose when body, mind, and spirit are out of whack at the same time, it affects a person deeply. For me, it felt like it was creating some sort of multi-dimensional vortex that sucked all will from my body. Or maybe that was just the medications I’ve been taking.

The weather was gorgeous today. Spending multiple days snow-bound due to blizzards helps one cultivate a deep appreciation for 60-degree weather. (That’s 60 Fahrenheit for those of you overseas, or roughly 15.5 Celsius.) I did a morning meditation outside in the garden. I was planning on doing a “body scan,” but was overwhelmed by the depth of sound surrounding me. Planes, construction, my dog, people, cars, and lots and lots of BIRDS. It was a nice 15 minutes of connectedness to the world.

My mood started dipping mid-day. No need to go into the how’s and why’s. I think all of the pain – physical, emotional, spiritual – that’s been happening lately just walloped me. Seriously walloped me into deep gloom. So deep that someone I know asked me why I was being so pessimistic lately. Not necessarily the thing to ask someone who’s already not feeling well.

Anyway, I went to meditation tonight and had an amazing experience. I’ve been dealing with a lot of anger, so I decided to mainly focus on a “loving kindness” meditation rather than a body scan. (I did do some body scanning, but that wasn’t my main focus.)

Then came the post-meditation dharma talk. I got a good chance to laugh at/with myself in a very compassionate way. It’s really hard to put into words.

My main realization echoed one of the teacher’s. That when things are going well, I think that it must be because I’m doing something “right” or “good.” And that when things are going down the toilet, I think that it must be because I’m doing something “wrong.” So I drive myself crazy trying to figure out where I went wrong, and what I can do to make it better.

Secret of the evening: sometimes pain just happens. There is no rhyme or reason, or perhaps there’s a reason that’s out of your control. Once I let go of feeling personally responsible for creating my pain, this huge weight lifted from my chest. Don’t get me wrong, my foot still hurts like hell. I just don’t feel like I’m in my personal penal colony anymore.

When I got home, I started thinking about tomorrow morning’s 10 am dental appointment. And lo and behold, my wonderful golden mood went away, to be replaced by something utterly mundane. Which will later be replaced by some other thing. That’s just the way it goes.

My Etsy Store

A fibro-friendly item from my Etsy store

I've been working on making fibro-friendly jewelry. I'd love it if you checked them out by clicking the image above, or going to www.etsy.com/people/RogueCrafter

About Me

This blog is intended as a place for me to reflect on my own healing journey, in the hopes that others may also gain insight from my experiences. I've "borrowed" a line from Robert Frost's poem, The Road Not Taken:

'Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.'

I think the most important thing for me now is that I feel empowered to be a force for positive change in my life. And that, my friends, has made all the difference.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9 other followers

November 2019
M T W T F S S
« Nov    
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Twitter

  • Hey everybody! We are going foreign for this weeks business of Seoul Garden! Everyone stop in there tomorrow! You know what to do! 📷😆 5 years ago
  • Baseball team at kozy's!!! #CashMob @OHHSDECA http://t.co/0Yv3YtL15F 5 years ago
  • Don't forget all you pet owners, tomorrow is cash mob número 3 At pet haven! Take a pic of your animal and upload to here of Facebook! 🐶🐱 5 years ago
  • RT @Addictd2Success: Whenever you see a successful person you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices they had to make. #… 5 years ago
  • RT @Addictd2Success: "Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." - Jim Rohn 5 years ago